Self Love and Other Inspirational Crap I Felt Inspired to Write 

‘You’re not really free until you stop to comparing yourself to others.’ 



 I heard this listening to Joel Osteen on XM radio today. (Yes, I like listening to Joel Osteen. He’s a positive guy who makes excellent points about life in general. It’s something I find to be helpful and inspiring.) It made me stop and think about how far I’d come on my own journey to learn to love myself, and in turn, not be so worried about comparing myself to others. 
This is something I feel I starting learning in my late 20’s. In my mid 30’s I’m much better at this now. It is a learning process. Especially in the beginning. From day one we are basically compared to others. How we look. How fast we are to learn things. How we excel at sports or various activities. Who is the smartest? Prettiest? Has the nicest things? Then around the teenage years we are bombarded with magazines, and tv, and marketing ads geared at telling us to how we need to go about achieving these things. It gets to be exhausting. I decided to start focusing on the good things about myself vs the negative. I tried to stop comparing myself to others. I stopped looking at what others had with envy and started focusing on how much I had. I only wanted to be the best version of myself possible. I realized I wasn’t in competition with anyone, and I became free in a way. Free from comparison. Free from not feeling good enough. There will always be someone prettier, smarter, more successful. There’s no point in comparing when you look at it like that, right? So others shine and rise higher. Let’s lift each other up. It doesn’t dull your shine one bit to let others shine as well. We all have so many wonderful, unique gifts. A confident, secure person knows this. Become that person. Focus on your own gifts. Celebrate them. Own and love them. Appreciate all of the ways that you are beautiful. Jealousy and pride do absolutely nothing to help us become better versions of ourselves. All those do is bring us down. And as they say, comparison is the thief of joy. 
I think to others I seem like a very confident person. My secret? I celebrate myself daily. I focus on the good. If you had a friend who constantly pointed out only your flaws, told you things you had weren’t good enough, and bad mouthed everything you tried to achieve, would you still be friends with them? I’d hope not. So why are we letting the dialogue in our own heads get away with that? If I see a zit I say to myself, ‘Look at how gorgeous my eyes look today.’. Then I proceed to use the concealer in that moment that I’m extra grateful for. If I’m feeling a little chunky? ‘Not everyone has curves. My beautiful body literally created two lives. There are women who would gladly take a mommy pooch and stretch marks to have the blessing of becoming a mother.’. I then put on a flowy shirt I feel beautiful in and move on. See how that works? Change the dialogue in your head. Address what you can and move on. Don’t dwell on the negative stuff. Focus on something positive when the negative tries to creep in. Religious or not I love the saying, ‘Not today, Satan!’. You’re damn right not today. I’m too busy being a goddess of every damn thing I do. You know what’s even better than showing yourself love like that? Showing others that they’re just as incredible. Compliment someone. Lift them up. Even the seemingly most confident of people can use a lift. Be someone who makes others see the beauty in themselves. Am I perfect at any of this? Of course not. I’m a continual work in progress. (A future blog on my mom pooch will solidify this) 
So ladies, the only person you should compete with is yourself. Become the best version of yourself. Challenge yourself to focus on all of the beautiful gifts you, and only you, have to share with the world. Change the dialogue in your head. Look around at all that you’ve achieved in your life thus far. If you’re getting out of bed, participating in life, and showing others love, you’re achieving more than you think. Moms, some days not giving up totally counts. Women in general are so resilient. That alone is an amazing quality we all possess. Now try sharing that positivity. Give a different person a compliment each day for a week. Try making it a compliment based on something they offer to the world that isn’t based on appearance. Let someone know they have more to offer to the world than just being pretty. And hey, if you’ve already achieved this, you rock! Keep spreading the love to others. We all need to support each other on our journeys. Life is too hard to not have a support system of people who love you, and who most importantly, love themselves. The people you align yourself with will either help you rise or bring you down. Surround yourself with those who lift you up and do the same. Build a beautiful village. 
-{ Nothing is more impressive than the woman who is secure in the unique way God made her }-
                             

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